The Alien of the Week

Ben: The Daleks! Turns out the Emperor of the Daleks ship survived the Time War, falling through space and time. Which is a neat turn of phrase, if not a slightly lazy way to have some Daleks survive. The true horror comes when we find out they’ve been using the contestants of the games to make more Daleks; breaking them down into the building blocks of life to create new life, new Daleks. But as the Doctor correctly surmises, they’re not pure Daleks, and Daleks abhor anything that isn’t Dalek; they hate their own flesh, their own existence, and it’s driven them insane.

Maureen: The Daleks on New Who have become a bit of a joke, re-occuring too often with sillier and sillier plans to deliver much in the thrills and the scares department. This finale is an exception to the New Who Dalek rule. The Dalek Emperors speech about “the refugees… the displaced… all come to us” and “This is perfection. I have created heaven on earth,” as well as the way we see Lynda, Jack and all of the trapped humans exterminated is truly chilling.

Ben: I did like how the Dalek God cast himself as the creator of life, opposing the Doctor (the destroyer and the oncoming storm). Although once the Daleks board the Game Station we see the Dalek’s aren’t exactly the nurturing type, as they go and kill the 100 or so unarmed humans in floor zero. And poor Lynda, Lynda with a Y with her crush on the Doctor gets the worst death of all. For that alone these Daleks deserve their ending, being dissolved into atoms by Rose. It made for a pretty great scene, the Dalek God shrieking that he is immortal, that he cannot die, followed by him dying.

The Companion/s

Maureen: This is such a dark episode, especially for the companions and the humans trapped on Satellite Five. I can see how Torchwood got as dark as it did. Kids show? What kids show?

Ben: Now this is definitely my favourite Rose episode of the season. For the first fifteen minutes she doesn’t do much other than blindly believe the Doctor will save the day, that everyone will live and nobody will die (except the Daleks). And then it all goes wrong and The Doctor sends her back home with one final request, to forget him and live her life. Which is really just unrealistic, Doctor. As we see in the scene in the fish and chips shop, Rose has been shown a better life, and she can’t go back to the monotony of her old life.

Maureen: What I found interesting about the fish and chip shop scene was how phenomenal an actress Billie was in it. She totally sold me on playing a nineteen year old, prone to emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. I might not like Rose much, but her behavior in these scenes at least felt believable.

Ben: In that fish and chip shop Rose mourns returning to a life absent from The Doctor, a life where she doesn’t stand up for what’s right when no one else will.

Maureen: This bit bugged me a little. There’s nothing stopping Rose from getting involved in politics (Harriet Jones style) or charity and living a life The Doctor would be proud of. But nineteen years old…

Rose: Catch the bus, go to work, eat chips… is that all there is? The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life.

Oh, use some imagination and initiative Rose. The Doctor literally told you the below and you still don’t get it:

Nine: Let the TARDIS die. Let it gather dust… if you want to remember me do one thing… have a good life… do that for me… have a fabulous life.

Ben: Yes, what she does instead is tell Mickey there’s nothing on earth left for her. Even the scene between her and Jackie was cruel, telling Jackie she was the one who was there as her father died, that he would want her to keep fighting. This Rose I don’t like, the Rose that will do anything, hurt anyone to get back to The Doctor. I get that she loves him, but that’s just harsh. It was nice that Mickey and Jackie came together to help her in the end, but she really didn’t deserve their help.

Maureen: I agree re Rose, but I like what Mickey’s response showed us about him. For the first time, I felt that Mickey cared about Rose, genuinely cared in a way that went beyond surface level. Take this exchange:

Rose: There’s nothing for me here.
Mickey: Nothing?
Rose: Nothing.
Mickey: Right. If that’s what you think…

And you know what he does? He damn well helps her anyway, and not only that, he stops her from giving up! For once Mickey added to, rather than detracted from, an episode!

Ben: I’ve got more to say about Rose. I mean we need to talk about the fact that Rose looks into the heart of the TARDIS and becomes a literal Deus ex Machina! This is peak Doctor Who and I just love it so much. For some reason, “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself,” is a line that has stuck with me from the first time I watched this episode. BadWolf Rose just has so many iconic lines in this one sequence of genocide. And then we get the cheesiest line of all space and time, as the Doctor says “I think you need a Doctor” before kissing her, pulling the time vortex out of her head and into himself. It’s probably for the best she doesn’t remember any of it, living with committing genocide and also that level of cheesiness can’t be good for you.

Maureen: I agree that this bit was classic Who. It was outrageous. So outrageous it shouldn’t have worked, yet it does and RTD never figures out how to get it right again. Bad Wolf Rose is also my favourite version of Rose (it’s why I could stand her in the 50th anniversary). I agree with Ben that she has some truly astonishing lines.

Bad Wolf Rose: Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends… I can see everything. All that is. All that could be.

Ben: Jack, on the other hand, had less of a fun time. On one hand, he gets a kiss out of both Rose and The Doctor. On the other hand, he sends a bunch of people to their deaths facing off the Daleks, including himself. It was definitely a dick move to lie to the volunteers, telling them the guns will work on the Daleks, that the forcefield will weaken the Daleks attacks, but someone had to slow the Daleks down while the Doctor worked on the Delta wave.

Maureen: I didn’t think that was a dick move on Jack’s part. I thought it was a way to keep panic at bay. What good would Jack telling humanity the truth about the Daleks have done? They had no way out.

Ben: I guess so. On the bright side, Rose brings Jack back! Yay!

Maureen: Yes! Long may Captain Jack reign. Neither Ben or I remember when Jack next turns up and how and both look forward to a reappearance.

The Doctor

Ben: The Doctor has finally learnt how to drive the TARDIS with some finesse! Apparating the TARDIS around Rose was a nice bit of magic.

Maureen: Yeah, to be honest, that was one of the only parts of the episode that made no sense to me.

Ben: Mmmm, I found the shot of the Doctor with his head to the door of the TARDIS as he hears the Dalek’s futile attempts to exterminate to be incredibly powerful. All this season we’ve been getting drip fed bits of information about the Time War, and the PTSD the Doctor suffers from his involvement in it. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going through the Doctor’s head in that moment.

Maureen: Christopher Eccleston was seriously good this episode, and made me yearn for more Nine. He portrays The Doctor’s sadness, pain and rage, as well as his innate alien nature so well.

Rose: I knew you would come.
Nine: Good. I didn’t.

Nine: Don’t stand around chin-wagging… human beings, always standing around gossiping.

We also see more of why Nine cares for Rose in a romantic sense.

Nine: The TARDIS could leave and let history take its course.
Rose: You couldn’t do that.
Nine: You wouldn’t ask.

I’ve never bought Rose/Nine or even Rose/Ten and always felt that The Doctor would have grown bored of Rose eventually, but I did feel Rose was right for Nine in the situation he was in and where he was placed emotionally.

Ben: And then we get to the good stuff after The Doctor tricks Rose into the TARDIS and sends her back home through the magic of Emergency Program 1. We find out through the Dalek God (formerly known as the Dalek Emperor) that the delta wave can’t be refined, that it will kill Daleks and humans indiscriminately. A complete rehash of the Time War. The Doctor might not be able to bring about an end where everyone lives and nobody dies, but at least he can save Rose. In the end he can’t go through with activating the Delta wave, which is probably for the best. I don’t think the Doctor could live with becoming the Great Exterminator.

Maureen: What I like about Nine though is that there was always a suggestion that it wouldn’t take much to tip him over the edge. RTD also chips away at the perennial who is The Doctor question by having the Dalek Emperor mirror The Doctor. The exchange below reveals a lot about The Doctor:

Dalek Emperor: I want to see you become like me… all hail The Doctor. What are you? Coward or killer?
Nine: Coward any day.

I’ve always hated The Doctor as hero trope, the lonely God figure, so it’s nice to have a grand finale that bucks the trend. And then there’s the first New Who regeneration sequence…

Ben: Yes, the episode ends with this wondrously emotional scene between Rose and The Doctor. I’m not one for quoting the episode in big chunks, but that whole scene is just magic. I will agree with The Doctor when, in his final lines as the Ninth Doctor, he says he was fantastic. He really, really was.

Maureen: God, I still miss Nine. Unlike Ben, I am one for quoting chunks of episode. The Doctor’s regeneration speech is a good one. He says he can’t go to Barcelona and Rose asks why not. This is his wonderful response:

Nine: You can. You will. Maybe I will too. But not like this… Time Lords have a way of cheating death… before I go I just want to tell you you were fantastic. And you know what? So was I.

Ten is one of my least favourite of all The Doctor’s, but his opening lines were also… well… fantastic.

Ten: Where was I? That’s right. Barcelona!

Final Thoughts

Ben: This episode was peak Doctor Who and I loved it from start to end. I don’t really know what else to say. I give it a 10/10 and an “allons-y!”

Maureen: I too, thoroughly enjoyed The Parting of the Ways, literal deux ex machina and all. 10/10 inky stars

Pre-Title Sequence

Ben: And we begin this week’s episode with a good old recap, albeit of one of the worst episodes of the season.

Maureen: I know right? My first response was, ‘oh yes, that recap of the God-awful episode we shall not speak the name of… how interesting… said no one ever.’ For those wanting less vague episode put-downs, Rose and The Doctor find themselves back on Satellite Five, first featured in The Long Game.

Ben: The Long Game recap ends rather ominously, showing The Doctor being told he needs to stay behind to help explain what happened, which is a thing he does not do.

Maureen: That bugged you didn’t it, Ben? Thankfully, this episode addresses The Doctor’s fatal error in The Long Game.

Ben: Yep. More on this later. Anyway, moving on to the episode proper, the Doctor has somehow gone and got himself teleported into a Big Brother house 100 years after the events of Satellite Five. This can’t be good…

The Companion/s

Maureen: Before Ben and I get started on Rose and Captain Jack, I want to just jump in and note that Lynda is the same kind of companion who never was as Suki, except with more naivety. I kind of liked the parallel. She’s a right Doctor fan-girl, maybe even crushing on him. And I love that she asks The Doctor what outside viewers think of her and his invented response is she’s sweet, but sweet doesn’t win reality shows. Damn straight. Too bad The Doctor doesn’t yet know the extent of how messed up these games are…

Ben: In terms of Rose and Jack, I don’t have much to say about them this week, as they didn’t really do much of substance! For me, Rose’s most memorable moment was the excellent pun made about the Anne-droid. Oh, and her bit of foreshadowing ‘Bad Wolf’. Her ‘death’ at the hands of the Anne-droid seriously raises the stakes and gives The Doctor something to ‘Be Sad TM’ about. And when it turns out she’s alive it’s a bit of a good news bad news situation, as she’s found herself on the deck of a Dalek ship. This has come to be a bit of a trope with Rose, as she constantly finds herself in need of rescue by the Doctor. I much prefer the episodes where she gets to be more than a damsel in distress.

Maureen: I’m starting to think that perhaps Rose wasn’t written for people our age, Ben. I know for a fact she was my favourite of RTD’s companions in high school, so maybe she’s relatable for teens, but grows frustrating beyond that? I’ve also had a hard time warming to her this series.

Poor Rose gets the short end of the stick this episode. She gets stuck playing The Weakest Link without understanding the stakes when she votes someone off the game. Her reward? Watching that person disintegrated before her very eyes. And then she loses out and gets disintegrated herself, only to find herself trapped on a Dalek ship. ‘We have your associate.’ Not a good day for Rose.

Ben: Much like Rose, Jack doesn’t do a great deal of substance this episode. He stands around mostly naked, poses in some outfits, then pulls a gun out of his butt. Much like The Doctor he gets to do some good emotional acting once Rose ‘dies’, but other than discovering the secondary transmat system, he mostly just flirts with everyone he comes into contact with.

Maureen: Harsh Ben. He might not do much, but he’s Captain Jack. He can get naked all he likes.

Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.

Ok, ok, so maybe it was a little gratuitous BUT I DON’T CARE.

Also, I enjoyed Jack coming on to the admin guy at the most inopportune moment. As The Doctor points out, there’s a time and a place!

The Doctor

Ben: The first half of this episode was Doctor heavy, but also pretty meaningless as it’s just him escaping from the Big Brother house and doing some general Doctor investigating. It was nice to see the Doctor facing the consequences of his “save the day then gotta dash” approach, as he discovers he’s responsible for the 100 Years of Hell, as Lynda put it. When all the news stations went down there was nothing to fill the void. Of course, this could have been avoided by having, you know, more than one place broadcasting the news, but what can you do.

Maureen: Maybe RTD just painted our current reality, don’t you think? Media concentration in the hands of one company is a problem in both Australia and the UK. I find that when RTD does dystopian social commentary, he does tend to lay it on a bit thick, and that was definitely the case this episode, but it’s still food for thought in your tea-time television viewing. It is a chilling moment when Lynda tells The Doctor that there are hundreds of violent and deathly games playing at once and that people watch them all day every day.

Nine: And you watch this stuff?
Lynda: Everyone does.

We also see The Doctor get angry multiple times. First, when he finds the station staff:

Female Programmer: If you’re not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified!

The Doctor: That’s the same staff who execute hundreds of contestants every day?

Female Programmer: That’s not our fault. We’re just doing our jobs.

The Doctor: And with that sentence, you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now back off!

And then later, when The Doctor sees Rose’s jacket in the TARDIS and knows The Daleks have her followed by this exchange with The Daleks:

The Doctor: *No*! ‘Cause this is what I’m gonna do – I’m gonna rescue her! I’m gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I’m gonna save the Earth, and *then* – just to finish you off – I’m gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defences, no *plan*!

The Doctor: Yeah, and doesn’t that scare you to death?

I don’t know about everyone else, but Nine always was a frighteningly angry and unstable Doctor. It’s part of his appeal for me.

Ben: Mmm, I agree. The best Doctor moment for me was his final defiance of the Daleks, refusing to back down, to give up, and declaring he’s coming to rescue Rose. Nothing like a defiant Doctor facing down certain defeat to put the fear in his enemies.

The Alien of the Week

Ben: The Daleks are back! Although they didn’t really do much this episode, the build up to the reveal was pretty well done thanks to the Controller – a Tilda Swinton/Samantha MoretonMinority Report inspired character if ever I saw one. And talk about a long game! From what the nameless Controller was saying the Daleks have had this plan in the works for hundreds of years, biding their time and building their forces. We’ll have to wait until the second episode to see if it was worth it, and perhaps find out what they’re doing with all the humans that have been transmitting to them over the past century or so.

Maureen: That reveal confused me. Maybe I just need a re-watch but I’m not sure if the inference is that the gap The Doctor left behind in the last 100 years was the point The Daleks showed up or if they had been the financiers behind The Jagrafess and Simon Pegg in The Long Game and took The Doctor leaving a vacuum as the excuse to get more blatant with their plans or something else altogether. Please answer in the comments if you know the answer

Final Thoughts

Ben: I’m really not sure what they were thinking with this episode, I guess the heavy-handed commentary about reality/game shows would have been a bit more relevant when this episode first aired? I mean, the killing of the contestants (or as Lynda with a Y puts it, being evicted from life) is a bit much. But the result is they spend so much time on the game shows all the real plot this episode has is crammed into the final 5 minutes.

Maureen: Yes, I had the same issue as you. At the time I first saw the episode, the reveal was shocking and the games depicted more contemporary. Now that I know the twist, it feels a bit like a one trick pony and the games shown have become obsolete.

Ben: Furthermore, I’m not a fan of two-parter stories like this when the first episode is spent setting up the second episode. And frustratingly, we’ve already had a perfect example of how to do a two parter this season with The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, so we know that Doctor Who is capable of so much more as a show. I’m giving this episode a 3/10.

Maureen: Wow Ben, we need to stop scoring so similarly. It’s getting creepy. I hovered between a 2 and a 3 but decided to land on 3/10 inky stars as the twist ending genuinely is amazing the first time around.

Next week I am so, so excited for the grand finale. I know I loved it back in the day.

Pre-Title Sequence

Ben: Between the little recap of our previous encounter with the Slitheen and the scene with a nuclear expert meeting an unfortunate fate, it’s pretty clear the direction this episode is headed. Bring on Cardiff!

Maureen: Ah Cardiff… I remember back in 2010 at Cardiff Bay, tourist information actually gave you a free sheet of Doctor Who filming locations you could wander around and take pics outside of. Do they still do that? What a great tourist activity that was… but ahem… reviewing the episode… yes. Where was I?

Companion

Ben: Urgh. Rose doesn’t really do anything except treat Mickey badly. It’s like she never remembers he exists until they’re back on modern day earth.

Maureen: Well yeah, Ben. That’s one of the reason’s Rose never works for me. She comes across as superficial and naive at best and as callous and heartless at worst. She is a seriously annoying companion and I say that as someone who LOVES Billie Piper.

Ben: Plus, the bit with her calling Trisha Delaney “a bit big” is pretty gross.

Maureen: Yep. I say no to fat-shaming, RTD! Also, I hate that Mickey is only dating Trisha to try to forget Rose, like Trisha is some kind of second-rate Rose.

Ben: It’s so telling that the only time on Mickey and Rose’s date that Mickey gives any details of his life is when he offers these details himself. Rose is fine to go on about her adventures in space and time, all take and no give. The final insult is that when the real trouble starts she runs off without him, heading straight to The Doctor without a thought for poor Mickey. It isn’t until the crisis is resolved that she remembers she abandoned him.

Maureen: My final note on Rose in this episode is, ‘and Rose says she’s fine to go on without Mickey… well fuck you, Rose.’ In other Rose Tyler news, I liked her cute braids this episode, her strangely similar to Amy Pond outfit and her Mary Poppins-esque joy when she says big alien words. More of this Rose please. Also, final note: I swear at the start of this episode Rose groped the side of the TARDIS. That was some weird tea-time porn Now where’s that fan fic?

Ben: As to Jack, he doesn’t really do anything but look handsome and flirt with everyone. Which is fine by me, really.

Maureen: I got nothing written about Jack except that the Jack/Doctor/Rose chemistry is a bit cute as they bounce off each other telling Mickey about their adventures.

Ben: Ah yes, Mickey. Poor Mickey can’t do anything right. First off, he bungles their plan to corner the Slitheen, then he asks Rose out on a date involving pizza and sex, during which he admits he’s seeing another woman? Classy! At least by the end of the episode he’s realised how bad Rose is for him and has walked away from the whole mess.

Maureen: Yes, Mickey and the guy who’s stuck playing him sure have a raw deal this season. I really hope when he comes back next season he gets more to do and less harshing on by the script. I’ve forgotten most of Season Two to be honest so this shall be unexpected.

The Doctor

Ben: Right off the bat we have the Doctor calling Mickey Rickey (booo!) and flirting with Jack (yay!). The scene with the Doctor and Rose realising Bad Wolf is following them is very emblematic of how this episode ends up playing out: a lot of interesting build up culminating in a fizzer of an ending. The episode is filled with the Doctor doing general Doctor stuff, solving mysteries and kicking butt. We get some good truths about the Doctor and his God-like powers from Blon during the dinner scene, but otherwise this episode is pretty light on good Doctor moments. Having the TARDIS return Blon to egg form felt like more of a cop out than anything, to me. Especially after the dissection of the Doctor Blon gave us during the dinner scene, I felt like there was an opportunity to delve deeper and darker about the dangers of The Doctor by actually having the Doctor take her to her death. But alas, it was not to be…

Maureen: I think that Nine is at his best in his comedic moments and his darkest moments as in Dalek. I love Nine’s face when he hear’s Margaret drop her tea cup and the follow up of ‘she’s climbing out the window, isn’t she?’ Nine also gets dark when he says no one should worship him as a God. Damn straight, Doctor. It’s why the lonely God trope that surfaces from season two onwards never ever works for me. Also, The Doctor describing a planet called ‘women wept?’ Link me to that fan fic stat.

The Alien of the Week

Ben: Ahhh, the last of the Slitheen is up to her old tricks. That is, until she gets soft and can’t follow through with killing the pregnant, soon to be wed Cathy Salt. Being all alone in the world is clearly weighing on her.

Maureen: I love this little scene. I felt sorry for Margaret as she cried in the toilet and said she was cursed. What an actress!

Ben: Her acting is excellent, isn’t it? Margaret’s rightly the focus of this episode. After the Doctor and his companions handily capture her, she beings her mind games to the dinner party (literally) as she torments The Doctor and his companions with the fact that they’re taking her to her death on her home planet. It’s clear she has the full measure of the Doctor with lines about how the Doctor is always the first to leave, and often avoids the full consequences of his actions. Throughout playing these mind games (“dinner in bondage, works for me” Maureen: God, how I snickered at this line) it’s pretty clear that she has every intent of escaping the Doctor. The in depth detailing of the execution she will face, of the pain she will go through, the pleading for one last chance, all have the intent of helping her to escape. It wasn’t until that final speech she made to the Doctor that I really started to feel bad for her, which is unfortunate because immediately after that final emotional plea she showed her true colours.

Maureen: I found Margaret to be a surprisingly funny character too. I loved this exchange:

Margaret: What did I ever do to you?
Nine: Tried to kill me and all of earth?
Margaret: Apart from that…

I also laughed at her ‘I sound Welsh. I’ve gone native,’ comment.

Otherwise, the centrepiece of the episode when The Doctor and Margaret talk at a restaurant was pure gold. As was the TARDIS exchange below:

Rose Tyler: We’ve got a prisoner. The police box is really a police box.

Margaret Blaine: You’re not just police, though. Since you’re taking me to my death, that makes *you* my executioners. Each and every one of you.

Mickey Smith: Well *you* deserve it.

Margaret Blaine: [looks straight at him] You’re very quick to say so. And you’re very quick to soak your hands in my blood. Which makes you better than me how, exactly?

[he says nothing]

Margaret Blaine: Long night ahead.

[walks away & sits down, finally]

Margaret Blaine: Let’s see who can look me in the eye.

[looks piercingly at each person; none hold eye contact for more than a few seconds; & the Doctor barely even looks up from his work]

This episode would have been a ten outta ten if it had stuck to that theme and followed through on its implications for The Doctor as story hero.

Ben: Alas, in hindsight Margaret had a pretty obvious plan, why else would you have the extrapolator as part of the model nuclear power station? Of course it was meant to be discovered. I’m not a fan of her final fate either, reverting to an egg. I would have preferred a (much darker) ending where she is returned to her home planet for execution. That would have lead to a much more interesting dissection of the Doctor, especially as he is very alone in the universe, just as she is.

Maureen: I have to agree with Ben. I noted when Margaret grabs Rose that the story would have been better if it had left Margaret as being actually contrite for her actions. I also wrote that the TARDIS egg sequence is the episode going to shit so…

Final Thoughts

Ben: This episode was 30 minutes of really good Doctor Who followed by 10 minutes of really bad Doctor Who. Margaret/Blon’s acting was truly excellent, but ultimately wasted in a terrible conclusion. I would have much preferred if RTD had followed through to the ultimate bleak ending of the final Slitheen getting her just rewards and being executed. But no, she’s an egg. With a great setup and poor follow through, I’m going to give this episode a 6/10.

Maureen: I’ve sat back and let Ben’s comments dominate this review because he basically says everything I want to say, but better. I agree with his assessment of the episode. I wanted more darkness and less Doctor cop-out resolutions. 6/10 inky stars.

The Doctor and Rose chase some space shrapnel to London, only to find themselves caught up in World War Two and the London blitz. A mysterious child in a gas mask repeats horror movie style, ‘are you my Mummy?’ and threatens the future of humanity. What exactly is going on? It’s up to Rose, The Doctor and the mysterious 51st century rogue, Captain Jark Harkness, to find out…

Pre-Title Sequence

Ben: The Empty Child starts with such excitement from the get go with the Doctor frantically chasing a mysterious mauve object though space and time to the fantastically alien destination of… London.

Maureen: New Who is so earth obsessed, right? Still, this time we have a different time period at least…

Ben: And after the Debbie-downer of an opening last episode, I’m happy for the change of pace. And yes, I’m still longing for the day that River teaches the Doctor how to drive the TARDIS properly.

Maureen: I’d forgotten how badly Nine drives! It’s cropped up in almost every episode of this season. In other news, I was struck in The Empty Child’s opening by how funny the script was. Rose makes a comment about the only time The Doctor careens through space is to get some milk and The Doctor’s reply of ‘all the species in all the universe it has to come out of a cow?’ gave me a grin.

The Companion/s

Maureen: We have a lot of ground to cover in this two-parter so I’m going with companion sub-categories.

Rose

Ben: I love Rose’s obsession with Spock and the scanning of alien tech this episode. Where did her obsession come from? It’s just so random! And of course, Rose decides to wear a union jack shirt during a German air raid.

Maureen: I found it really noticeable that someone different was writing the script with this two-parter. Rose is still naive and on the flirtatious side, but she does more for the plot.

Ben: Yeah, she gets to have some good fun in The Empty Child, almost falling to her death from a barrage balloon, getting rescued by Jack, getting to flirt with Jack (slow dancing in front of Big Ben while the city burns around you is the height of romance), and pretending to be a time agent! I do appreciate these episodes where Rose gets to do stuff other than be a damsel in distress.

Maureen: I’ve found Rose’s propensity for flirtation with anyone of the male persuasion with a pulse irritating in prior episodes, but Captain Jack is so suave and the situation so outlandish, you can’t help but go along with everything. I felt like Rose got to do more in the second part however.

Ben: Yes, in The Doctor Dances, Rose saves herself, The Doctor and Jack from the ’empty’ child with some quick thinking, and then continues nonchalantly flirting with the Doctor.

Rose: The world doesn’t end when the Doctor dances.

Love it. What a line.

Rose also gets a great scene with Nancy, telling her that ultimately everything is going to be all right, that the German’s won’t win. And finally, after the Doctor saves the day she gets her dance! With both the Doctor and Jack! I thought this was a great pair of episodes for Rose, overall.

Maureen: I never warmed to Rose, and though I agree she does more in this two-parter, I still vastly preferred Captain Jack and Nancy to Rose. Rose comes across often as callous, even if I’m not sure that’s what the scriptwriters were going for. For example:

Nancy: I’d believe anything me. I don’t have a future.
Rose: It’s not the end of the world or anything.

Wow Rose. Don’t you know anything about your own country’s history? It very nearly was. The Doctor, at least, gets that.

Nine: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says “No. No, not here.” A mouse in front of a lion. You’re amazing, the lot of you. I don’t know what you did to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me, go on, do what you’ve got to do, save the world.

Still, her dance in the TARDIS was lovely, as was her scene with Nancy. I also found it interesting that it was Rose who reminded The Doctor that he needed to save Jack for his maxim that just this once everyone lives to ring true. I have no doubt The Doctor would have forgotten all about Jack without her timely reminder. It’s also interesting that it’s Rose asking the pertinent questions in The Doctor Dances. For example, it’s she who asks why the gas-masked people don’t know that The Doctor and co. aren’t their mummy’s.

Jack

Ben: Ahh Jack… the lovable sleazeball. I don’t think any character besides River has had as good an intro as Capn Jack Harkness. From the get go he’s complimenting people’s butts, being dashing and rescuing damsels from certain doom. He practically oozes confidence as he makes Rose an offer for the Chula warship, and openly declares himself an ex-time agent and a criminal! Swoon.

Maureen: Ah Jack. The Jack Sparrow of the Whoniverse. Or the James Bond (come on: as if Jack’s self destruct module complete with a vodka martini didn’t remind everyone of Brosnan Bond). Plus points for fluid sexuality. I wish Moff had made more in later seasons of Jack and River both being from the 51st century. I’d have loved to watch them flirt and argue their way through an episode. There’s a lot of similarities between Jack and River, even this early in. There’s the sonic blaster. There’s the flirt with everything that moves trope. There’s the rogue trope. In The Doctor Dances, the Jack/Doctor tiff over sonic screwdrivers even mirrors a scene in Day of the Moon between River/Doctor. Compare the two quotes;

Nine(The Doctor Dances): Ever had a cabinet to build?

River(Day of the Moon as she sonic blasts The Silence): Go build a cabinet or something.

Ben: Handsome rogue shtick aside, Jack’s in a bit over his head here.

Maureen: After all, it’s him that sets the episodes in motion. He thinks Rose and The Doctor are Time Agents and that he can lure them to London with some old scrap metal. Unfortunately for him, turns out the metal isn’t from a war ship as he thought, but from a medic ship and that the nanogenes from the ship try to cure humanity of death with disastrous results.

Ben: In The Doctor Dances, Jack thoroughly redeems himself, providing some crucial assistance in the form of his ship’s teleporter, and then almost sacrifices himself by taking the soon to explode bomb onto his ship. Luckily Rose and the Doctor maneuver the TARDIS over to his ship and rescue him from his imminent demise.

Maureen: Good thing too. He’s one companion who never was who deserves multiple come backs!

Nancy

Ben: These episodes are packed full of great acting, and Nancy is no exception. From the moment she tells the Doctor not to pick up the ringing TARDIS phone you know she’s got a dark and mysterious past. She holds her own against the Doctor multiple times, berating him for taking more food than is allowed and making fun of his nose and ears. She also coolly blackmails the man she is robbing food from and manages to snag a couple of extra goods without breakin a sweat. With her strong motherly tendencies and her penchant for survival, it’s no surprise the empty child looks to her as his mother.

Maureen: I completely forgot about the Nancy/Jamie plot twist! Moff uses it again in later Smith seasons and doesn’t convince, but this first time around the ‘mother as almost magical strength’ trope works.

Ben: I love that even with the bombs falling on London, and the Doctor investigating the mysterious child, Nancy’s priority remains the well being of her young wards (some of whom have faced child molestation from the very country people whom they were sent to to keep them safe), as she returns to the house she initially broke into in search of food. The Doctor pegs it correctly – she’s lost someone to the raids, so she’s looking after these kids to make up for it.

Maureen: I love Nancy and the actress playing her was on point despite her relatively young age. I was so impressed by Nancy that I immediately looked up the episodes imdb pages to check who played her. Alas for TV lovers, Florence Hoath has retired from acting as far as I can tell, but you can find her living a nice life full of baking on Twitter. Anyway, back to the character. I love Nancy’s dedication to bringing her young wards up right even as she robs from those in bomb shelters by eating their half eaten meals. There is still honour amongst thieves, The Artful Dodger style. Nancy tells the children to eat with their mouths closed and without critiquing the food or the house they steal from. The Doctor says it all really when he says ‘can’t tell if this is Marxism in action or a West End musical.’ Nancy was such a high point, wasn’t she, Ben?

Ben: Yes. She was just such a bad ass. She cares so much about her Oliver Twist-esque gang. She resolves to confront her empty child, Jamie, much as it terrifies her because she knows her wards are in danger as long as that child keeps following her everywhere. It pays off. Nancy gets the best ending of everyone, with her son restored alive to her and armed with the knowledge that the German’s lose the war she gets to face the future with a heart full of hope. She deserves it.

Maureen: What Nancy did next? Has someone written the fan fic?

The Doctor

Maureen: I remember when Season One aired, it wasn’t just the decaying angst The Time War brought to The Doctor’s story line that got the media and the fans talking. It was also the blatant in-story references to a more sexualised Doctor. In Classic Who, sex wasn’t mentioned in relation to The Doctor. In New Who, it’s a given. I’m pretty sure the banana joke in The Doctor Dances is meant to be blatantly phallic (it also echoes Eleven’s ‘bad, bad beans’ food test post regen in The Eleventh Hour, but that’s another story). The Doctor dancing could be see in and of itself as a euphemism for sex. The Doctor is also clearly jealous of Rose flirting with Captain Jack (Rose calls him Captain Envy) and looks put out when Nancy critiques his big ears and nose.

Ben: The Doctor has some really great Doctoring moments in these episodes. From the moment he exits the TARDIS he’s a Doctor on a mission, trying to find this mysterious object that’s landed in London. After a briefly embarrassing moment in a bar (gosh Nine can be slow on the uptake. Also, hello first period piece singer in New Who), he’s introduced to Nancy, and then he’s really off to the races. But for me, it wasn’t until he arrived at the hospital and met up with Dr Constantine that the Doctor got to do any heavy lifting. Before then, Rose and Nancy had really been the focus of The Empty Child. You can see him starting to put the pieces together at the end of this episode when Jack and Rose turn up, though. And this is where the real Doctoring starts. I mean, who else would have thought to yell at the gas-masked children to go to their room! That takes nerve. The Doctor gets some cracking lines as he’s trying to solve the mystery of the child, but to me I found the story much more compelling through the perspectives of Rose, Jack and Nancy. The Doctor moves the story forward, but he doesn’t really get to shine until the very end of the episode when he gets the glorious revelation that everyone gets to live and no one has to die. Considering how the results of the Time War haunt him, this was a truly precious moment. And it shows in the rescue of Jack Harkness when he’s happy and free and able to dance without a care. In 900 years of existence, these kinds of wins can’t be common.

Maureen: I’ve always loved the end of The Doctor Dances. I think it sums up Moff’s Who humanism thesis (well, part of it). Variations of the everybody lives lines are echoed in The Girl in the Fireplace and again in the first River Song two parter (through her diary). Matt Smith’s run also reflected this theme. The speech Nine makes is my favourite Nine quotes and one of the best moment’s in all of New Who for me.

Nine: Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once. Everybody lives.

Plus, Chris delivers a truly perfect ‘fantastic.’

Alien of the Week

Maureen: I don’t know about your thoughts on this, Ben, but shit this two-parter’s alien of the week was real hide-behind-your-sofa-crap-your-pants-scary. Horror tropes are used multiple times to great effect. The repeated childish voice of ‘are you my Mummy’ was scary, but the catch phrase got even creepier at the end of The Empty Child when Dr Constantine morphs into a gas-masked empty person still repeating the catch cry. The Doctor Dances ramps up the horror stakes still further with a recording of ‘are you my Mummy?’ ending with a voice still echoing the lines (in other words Doctor and co., get the hell out of the room you’re currently in) and a typewriter typing of its own volition ‘are you my mummy?’ again and again and again. Poor Nancy trying to sing a lullaby to a recently converted soldier was also the stuff of nightmares. Even though this two-parter is now several years old, there were multiple points where I was genuinely afraid and the special effects still hold up. Ben?

Ben: The aliens this week, being nanogenes were just… perfection. Moffat twists something that should be pure and innocent – a child looking for his mother – into something horrifying. ‘This child is empty,’ Nancy says. ‘If he touches you he’ll make you like him.’ Jesus. We as the audience don’t know what that means initially, but the communicating through anything with a speaker is a faithful horror trope, so we know it means Bad Things. And then at the end of The Empty Child we get the real horrific payoff Moffat’s been building up to, as we are introduced to Dr Constantine and his hundreds of patients with the same injuries. The moment when The Doctor lists the scar on the back of the hand and the camera focus changes to Dr Constantine, who has a scar on the back of his hand? Terrifying. And then Dr Constantine drops the bombshell: none of these hundreds of victims with caved in heads and chests and gas masks fused to their faces are dead! Then comes the hide behind your sofa moment – watching Dr Constantine become a victim before our eyes. Honestly, like Maureen, I couldn’t help but appreciate how good the special effects were, especially after how awful they’d been previously.

Maureen: This is also one of the only times that the alien is completely innocent. The Nanogenes are trying to heal. It’s not their fault their first interaction with humanity is a dead child! Normally, you’d think a solution like this might feel like a let down, but it absolutely isn’t. The plot makes perfect sense.

Final Thoughts

Ben: These episodes were a joy to watch. I don’t know what else to say. Everything was excellently acted, the special effects were top notch, and just this once, everyone lives! Both episodes get a 10/10 from me.

Maureen: It will surprise no one who has followed this blog to read that I agree with Ben 100%. 10/10 inky stars for both episodes.

Pre title sequence

Ben: The pre title sequence this week started sweet. Rose is a bit sad, thinking about how she never really got time with her dad before he died, and asks the Doctor if they could see him before he dies. And then it veers off into the realm of creepy, with the Doctor trying to be flirty and responding with “your wish is my command”.

Maureen: I found the ‘… but be careful what you wish for,’ part stranger frankly. Why did The Doctor allow Rose to go back in time if he knew something bad could reasonably come of it? Or does he mean that seeing her own father’s death in real time will upset Rose? In which case, why not talk her out of it, Mr Flippant. Why do this at all? (Don’t say because plot needed an excuse to unfold. Worst excuse in the book).

Ben: It was a pretty flat opening, really, and is such a dramatic change in gear from the ending of the last episode where the Doctor and Rose cheerily left Adam to his fate (why RTD why?).

Maureen: My opinions on the opening are a lot less thoughtful than Ben’s. I wrote in my notebook of the opening credits, ‘dad dead exposition. Thanks Rose.’ The perils of being a writer (albeit not a screenwriter) is suddenly you notice devices like someone narrating a story at you because plot.

The Companion

Ben: Rose goes through the wringer this week in this companion focused episode. She gets to see her parents get married, and immediately realises reality is very different to how she imagined it, remarking she thought her dad would be taller. Moments like that happen a lot this episode, where Rose realises reality is starkly different to her imagination, to the image of her dad she had worshiped at for all these years. The drama of it all is a bit soapy for me.

Maureen: I think Ben you need to remember how new this episode felt at the time. Yes, now we’ve seen many sci fi and fantasy stories mess around with time and perception in this way, but back then not so much in the mainstream. I found myself noticing the many similarities between what happens to Rose and her image of her father in Father’s Day and what happens in the season one arc of Life on Mars (UK) to Sam Tyler with his father. Given that Sam Tyler was named after Rose and Life on Mars was partially seen as an adult Doctor Who, I wouldn’t be surprised if this Who episode had a massive influence.

Ben: Your mileage may vary. I found the soap too much in general. The soap rears its ugly head when, after Rose saves Pete’s life and breaks the rules of causality, Pete starts to hit on her. It happens again when Pete admits he’s not really a “businessman” and is just making it up as he goes. It happens again when Jackie comes along and they all have a massive row. I think it’s also really telling that after her parents make up and Rose sees the Doctor running towards her in a panic, she immediately puts on her “come hither” face. She’s still living half in her imagination, where her parents are the perfect couple. It isn’t until they’re all trapped in the church and people are dead that Rose snaps back to reality.

Maureen: I admit, Ben, that I’ve never been sold on Jackie Tyler actress’ acting. I thought the guy playing Pete was great, as was Billie. What didn’t work for me with the family dynamics was that aside from Pete, I didn’t care about anyone enough to invest in the story as I did with Life on Mars and Sam Tyler. This is not Billie’s fault at all, but I simply don’t find Rose all that relateable. When I was her age I read everything I could get my hands on, spent a lot of time online and writing and didn’t care much for boys. As for Jackie, she’s my worst nightmare. If I met someone like her in real life, they’d get flayed by my tongue pretty fast and I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with them.

Ben: Can we agree that the Mickey thing was weird?

Maureen: Yep. It didn’t bother me as much as it did you though.

Ben: Moving on then: Rose really starts to get closure with Pete when he realises he’s her dad, and he realises he should have died. Ultimately, Rose gets to do what she set out to do at episode beginning. Pete sacrifices himself and Rose is by his side as he dies. It’s something of a positive outcome, in that it changes the story Jackie tells baby Rose; her dad didn’t die alone in a senseless hit and run. Instead, the poor kid driver got to watch helplessly as Pete ran in front of the car. Real fairy tale stuff.

Maureen: I’ve always found it odd no other writer has explored this trope again. I mean, this kind of thing must happen around The Doctor A LOT.

The Doctor

Ben: I didn’t particularly like the Doctor this week. Right off the bat he’s acting happy and flirty, not noticing (or maybe just not caring) that Rose is acting out of character. Wanting to be there when your dad dies so he’s not alone is a noble gesture, but the Doctor should have approached the situation with a bit more… humanity. And then when Rose freezes (I guess seeing your dad get hit by a car is a pretty emotional moment) and doesn’t get to comfort him as he dies, he agrees that they can go back and try again! Even though he knows this is a really, really dumb idea!

Maureen: I think the implication though is that The Doctor knows it’s a dumb idea but does it anyway. Why? Because he loves Rose in his alien, angry way. Still, he immediately demands Rose say sorry afterwards and calls her a stupid ape which I agree is a bit much. He didn’t exactly warn Rose about the possible consequences of what could happen in revisiting such a traumatic event. It’d be like McGonagall giving Hermione the Time Turner without telling her the rules of how to play with it safe, and then giving her detention when she stuffs up. It just seemed unreasonable and emotionally manipulative (again) to me.

Ben: The Doctor really is out of his emotional depths this episode. It’s only after Rose saves Pete and refuses to admit she’s done anything wrong that things really heat up. When the aliens start killing he gets to do his dramatic Doctoring for a bit, sees the car stuck in a loop and immediately decides to try and keep Rose’s dad alive instead of doing the right thing. Which is a noble gesture and all, but if he wasn’t in love with Rose this whole thing could have been solved much earlier. He does get a nice scene with the couple to be where he doesn’t call them stupid apes and listens to their troubles; it’s a shame Rose didn’t get this Doctor at the start of the episode or this whole mess could have been avoided.

Maureen: I liked the way The Doctor treated the soon to be wed couple, even if it contrasted to how he treats Rose (maybe he’d fooled himself into holding Rose to a higher standard?).

DOCTOR: How did all this get started?
STUART: Outside the Beatbox Club, two in the morning.
SARAH: Street corner. I’d lost my purse, didn’t have money for a taxi.
STUART: I took her home.
DOCTOR: Then what? Asked her for a date?
SARAH: Wrote his number on the back of my hand.
STUART: Never got rid of her since. My dad said.
SARAH: I don’t know what this is all about, and I know we’re not important.
DOCTOR: Who said you’re not important? I’ve travelled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn’t even imagine, but you two. Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I’ve never had a life like that. Yes. I’ll try and save you.

Alien of the Week

Ben: The big bad this week was very confusing. For starters, it all begins on some pretty shaky grounds. Why does having the first set of Rose and Doctor see the second Rose cause a huge wound in time? And if it was such a risky maneuver in the first place, why did the Doctor even allow it? (answer, he wasn’t thinking with his head) I mean, the car wasn’t even going that fast in the first place, so it wasn’t a convincing death either. The whole red hunting vision of the mysterious baddies was some pretty dodgy special effects work, and on top of that, why is the TARDIS now a regular phone box? Why is a song on the radio playing that isn’t out yet? And what was with the Watson phone call?

Maureen: I can help you there, Ben. I thought The Doctor said that time had been more or less broken because of Rose saving Pete and so anachronistic events were happening (such as songs playing from a later era on Pete’s car radio and people hearing Alexander Graham Bell).

Ben: Whatever. It’s just all very poorly done. The focus was on the drama centred on Rose, rather than a good sci fi plot. Then, the second time we get the red hunting the aliens manage to vanish a whole playground of children in about 15 seconds without any of the screams we got from the first round of attacks. And THEN, when they finally reveal these horrible CGI constructions of aliens, their attacks are loud and messy and not stealthy at all! There was just such inconsistency around these aliens. The church is old therefore it’s strong and they can’t get in? What about the massive stained glass windows? If, as the Doctor says, these monsters are here to sterilise the wound in time, surely they’d only need to go after either Rose, the Doctor, or Rose’s dad? Or perhaps the car that’s stuck in a loop? That’s never fully explained either. And why does the whole Earth have to be sterilised? And how are the aliens going to sterilise plants, bacteria, animals under the water? The TARDIS still being active doesn’t make sense. If it’s inside got pushed out by the wound in time, won’t it just get pushed back out when the Doctor tries to summon it? And what happened to the outside of the TARDIS? When it starts to appear in the church it’s whole again. At least after Rose’s dad sacrifices himself the aliens vanish, everything goes back to normal and it’s like the whole episode never happened. Which is how I’m going to live my life after finishing writing this review.

Maureen: To be honest, most of what you point out didn’t occur to me, though you make valid points. The TARDIS thing did feel silly and I have no idea how The Doctor survived the alien attack. I guess I didn’t care so much though because I was concentrating more on the relationship between Pete and Rose, which I thought was lovely. I’m glad Pete gets to come back.

On a non-alien or anything else related note, I remember having butterfly clips like Rose was wearing in the late 90s and early 2000s. The weird scene where Billie was backlit against the dark church was super odd as an art direction choice. It threw me right out of the story. Finally, how Muriel’s Wedding was that almost-to-be-wedding?! Oh Thatcher England.

Final Thoughts

Ben: I had a lot of problems with this episode, in particular with the plot holes around the paradox. There were some good lessons about how the past is looked at through rose tinted glasses. Rose bore the brunt of those lessons, but the groom this episode also had a few good moments, reminiscing about his recently deceased dad. Overall though, I really struggled to look past how poorly the time wound/paradox was done, and the drama with Rose and her parents was overdone. This episode might have been breaking new ground when it first aired, but watching it now in 2018 it’s safe to say this has not aged well. This concept has been explored much better by other people, e.g. Terry Pratchett’s book Mort. I’m going to give it a 4/10.

Maureen: Gees, that’s a bit harsh. I didn’t think it was any worse than the series pilot, Rose, so I’m giving this 6/10. I rated this a lot higher as a teen but times change I guess.

Next week: Please Santa Moff don’t let us down. I can’t take much more underwhelming Who.

So what happens? The Doctor, Rose and Adam find themselves in the year 200 000 in the fourth great and bountiful human empire. Technology and the sought after gold-wall lined Floor 500 (where humans after a promotion go) are wrong, says The Doctor, and thus, exploration ensues in a pastiche episode that checks off The Face of Boe pregnant, the Bad Wolf channel and a 1984 style propaganda machine.

Pre-Title Sequence

Ben: The opening to this episode was fun enough. I liked the Doctor giving Rose a chance to show off with Adam. It was a sweet moment. And Rose is 19 years old, so I can understand her needing to get her flirt on every once in a while. Is it enough of a reason to bring Adam with them on an adventure? Not really. But hey, there’s always the chance the writers have an interesting way of using him in this story (spoiler alert: they very much did not). Ultimately, this opening reminds me of the opening to The End of the World, but with less awesome.

Maureen: My favourite part of the pre-title sequence was Rose successfully getting her Doctor on (I love it when companions get to do this without being harshed on). Rose is loving showing off when she says ‘judging by the architecture’ it’s a time far in the future and the surroundings point to ‘definitely a spaceship’ to Adam. She does get her flirt on, as Ben points out, and yes, I get she’s 19, but it makes Rose seem inconsistent. She likes Mickey… no wait The Doctor … no wait Adam … no wait The Doctor again. Make up your mind, woman!

Adam: *Faints*
Nine: He’s your boyfriend.
Rose: Not any more.

The Companion(s)

Ben: As much as I was in support of Rose getting a little action at the start of the episode, I really soured towards her as the episode went on. She was pretty supportive of Adam going through the motions of acclimatizing to time travel, only to immediately abandon him when things got interesting. Because leaving someone you barely know to their own devices in a strange place where bad things are probably happening is an excellent idea *sarcasm*. She doesn’t really do much for the rest of the episode other than follow the Doctor around. They have a nice moment in the elevator to level 500 when they realise Adam isn’t there and agree it’s better when it’s just the two of them, but like, why aren’t The Doctor and Rose concerned for him? He’s alone 198 000 years in the future and the general consensus is that’s fine? It’s no wonder he gets up to absolutely nothing good, especially considering where he was working in the previous episode! The final scene where they drop Adam off at home was pretty nasty really, especially considering they’re at least partly responsible for what happened to him. Really, Rose doesn’t come across as a great person this episode.

Maureen: I agree with Ben on this one and Ben gave Rose some leeway on her Adam flirting in the pre-title credits! I have very little to add except I did like the bit where Rose says she’s ‘missing out on the party upstairs’ re wanting to dash up to the creepy Floor 500. I’m going to leave Rose behind and focus on yet another companion who never was, Suki, as played by the excellent actress Anna Maxwell Martin. Here’s the thing guys: why cast someone as prestigious as ANNA FLIPPING MAXWELL MARTIN and then do nothing with her character till she’s unceremoniously fridged? WHY? I thought Suki didn’t know she was a spy, so it was a neat twist when it turned out she was a double agent all along.

Suki: This whole system is corrupt.

But that’s about all there was to her character. RTD. YOU ARE THE WORST.

Ben: And don’t forget Adam. Poor Adam got the worst of it. After the scene in the food court where he got to call his parents he was basically left to his own devices. It would have been kinder to keep him in the TARDIS for the rest of the episode. Instead we get so many scenes about Adam getting progressively further in over his head, culminating in him having everything he knows about Rose and the Doctor being forcibly yanked out of his brain.

Maureen: I read online somewhere that this was the series first Doctor-lite episode. Maybe it was. But it still sucked. And the Adam screen time is still completely unjustifiable. It was boring, awkward and a distraction from the real plot. I can’t believe Rose and The Doctor leave Adam to his own devices. He was working for the dangerously inquisitive Van Statten in Dalek. Wouldn’t they, you know, want to keep him on a tight leash till they know they can trust him? Scratch that. In logic land, The Doctor would never have brought Adam along at all!

Ben: Of course Adam was going to be interested in futuristic technology!! And then he was consigned to a future of being prodded and probed and reverse engineered. Yes, he got greedy, but he was the equivalent of a kid in a candy store in this episode. His guardians are the ones who should be shouldering the blame here. My final thought is, why even bring Adam into this episode if they didn’t have an interesting idea for how to use him?

Maureen: Rather! Also, the script is just plain predictable. It’s telegraphed a mile off that Adam is up to no good and will try to use his future knowledge for his own capitalist gain. It’s obvious something bad will happen to him (the cute dog whining at the sound of Adam’s voice on the answering machine made that obvious, and it was shown not once, but twice). And anyone who isn’t totally moronic aka Adam would trust Tamsin Greig nurse lady as far as they could throw her. Speaking of Tamsin Greig, her entire performance was off. Was she going for sexy? For funny? For creepy? Who knows? I doubt even she knew. And as to the episode’s ending, the tone is all wrong. Were we meant to feel sorry for Adam? Were we meant to laugh at him? Were we meant to feel vindicated? Who knows RTD.

The Doctor

Ben: I don’t really have much to say about the Doctor in this episode. He was okay. He solved the mystery, saved the day, and then left the mess to be cleaned up by other people. I didn’t mind this so much in World War Three, because Harriet Jones was quite capable of handling things herself. But in this case Cathica is quite right in stating that no one is going to believe what happened here.

Maureen: Nope. She’s a woman AND black. Unless social structures have changed any by the year 200 000. I doubt it.

Ben: I guess the Doctor isn’t really a fan of being there for the long haul. But then to cap things off, he was quite happy to leave Adam to his own devices (which left Adam with a head full of futuristic technology), and then blamed him for ending up over his head in an extremely alien environment! The worst part is that the Doctor and Rose didn’t care they were damning Adam to a fairly miserable life at the end of the episode. Yes, Adam got greedy, but where was the Doctor to keep him in line? At least some acceptance of responsibility would have been appreciated.

Maureen: I can’t disagree with Ben on that either, though two positives to end this section on from me. I did like the emphasis on Nine as a more sexual Doctor (shown when he is cool with Suki hugging him and looks like he kind of enjoys it and also the fan fic hand cuffs scene with him and Rose). And Nine’s lines about being a tourist rocked.

Nine: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can’t just read the guide book. You’ve got to throw yourself in, eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers – or is that just me?

So true, Doctor!

Alien of the Week

Maureen: Simon Pegg is… adequate… I guess? What a waste of a role for him too. So he’s a banker. That’s nice. Somehow he makes money out of propaganda news and supporting The Jagrafess who wants… who knows? The episode never makes that clear.

Ben: Ahh, the cheap special effects are back this week. I know that this was made in the early 2000s, but you know what else was? Lord of the Rings. Special effects aside, the Jagrafess didn’t really make sense as the big bad. Why is it living on the roof of a space station for 3000 years of its lifespan? How is this preferable to where it normally lives? How does it benefit from this arrangement it has with the Editor and the consortium of banks he represents? Why does controlling the information benefit banks in the long run? And in a slight aside, how does Cathica use the information transfer system they use to package the news to control the space station’s heating systems? There’s a lot of plot holes and poor explanations in this episode.

Maureen: Also, far too much pastiche. It’s 1984! No! Simon Pegg and his frozen people keyed into the space station channels are Minority Report. No! Suki, Cathica and co. are like Scarlet Johanssen and Ewan McGregor in The Island. Wait! It’s kind of like Seven/Ace meta stories like The Happiness Patrol… except far more boring and with far less to say. What a mess!!!

Final Thoughts

Maureen: This is it. Right here. The point where all of RTD’s excesses are truly revealed for the first time. There were elements in Aliens of London, but this here is the real McCoy. We got the kitchen sink. Check. We got The Doctor being an arsehole and getting away with it narratively because… well… he’s the Doctor. Check. We got nonsensical plots. Check. We got humour that isn’t funny. Check. We got inane, empty dialogue that goes nowhere and means nothing. Check. Urgh. The last line in my notebook on this episode is ‘HORRIBLE EPISODE. HORRIBLE.’ It gets worse the more I think about it. 1/10 inky stars.

Ben: Look. This episode was bad. Real bad. It feels like they threw everything at the wall to see what stuck, and decided they really liked the look of the stained mess that was left on the wall. It was convoluted, confusing, the jokes didn’t land, and Adam existed. The world they created was interesting, which makes it all the worst because they could have done a really interesting story about propaganda – the great human empire and it’s one news source. But no. I give it 1/10.

Next week at least we have Father’s Day, which by both my memory and by all accounts is halfway decent. Regular Who programming to resume at InkAshlings next week.

Pre-Title

Maureen: I love that the episode opens in 2012 like 2012 was far, far in the future (well, I guess it kinda was back then). I love that we’re inside a museum in Utah, but am a little sad Moffat didn’t riff on this in Series 6 with the cast’s real visit to Utah and the USA or with one of River’s Series 5 or 6 jaunts to an archaeological museum. But hush, Maureen. This is the RTD era review re-watch. Stop jumping ahead damn it! Anyway, nice nods to the Cybermen, The Slitheen and the wreck of the Rosaleen in the episode’s opening number and hello bad American accents and Julia Stiles look-a-like. Though Rose, maybe don’t tell the menacing soldiers that The Doctor is an alien IN AN ALIEN MUSEUM.

Ben: It’s all very mysterious. As Rose observes, if someone’s collecting aliens, the Doctor would make an excellent specimen. It’s not the best opening we’ve seen, but it’s definitely up there.

The Companion

Maureen: Aside from the irritating first ten minutes where Rose is either mocking Adam for being a bit of an egoist or is actually making goggle eyes at him (though I did laugh when she said ‘blimey, you can smell the testosterone’), she does most of the heavy lifting in what becomes a very emotional episode. This story is one of the first of New Who to really explore what the companion can do for The Doctor’s psyche. Rose is human; she thinks like a human, empathizes like a human, and most importantly of all, she has no preconceived notions of alien races beyond the ones she’s already met to judge them.

Dalek: I am in pain. They tortured me, but still they fear me. Do you fear me?
Rose: No.

Ben: Yes, Rose gets to do some proper companion work this episode in what proves to be a nice change of pace. Rose, naive as she is, knows nothing of the awesome danger even one Dalek represents, and does what she can to provide comfort and protection to a dying alien, inadvertently giving the Dalek newfound strength. But this new strength comes at a cost – humanity – turning this last surviving Dalek into something new, something with emotions. It is Rose’s DNA which saves the Utah base and everyone in it. Rose’s bleeding heart (shown in previous episodes) finally pays off.

Maureen: I loved Billie Piper’s acting in this episode. The scene where she winces as the soldiers shoot The Dalek was a nice touch. Also, back in the day, I genuinely thought Rose was a goner, Adric style. It felt nice to be surprised by Doctor Who again, and so early into the new show.

Ben: Ultimately, the end of the episode sees the Dalek turn to Rose to provide orders, the one person it has formed a connection with, begging her to order it to kill itself. I see Rose’s role in this episode as to show the best of humanity in the face of the unknown, and she does so powerfully.

Dalek: You have given me life. What else have you given me?

The Doctor

Ben: Just like Billie, Chris gets to do some heavy lifting in this episode. But first, he must show off a bit. This episode can really be summed up as a battle of the egos, initially it’s the Doctor’s ego doing battle with Van Statten’s. But really, all of the named characters in this episode seem to be talking with their egos at one point or another.

Maureen: I love the flashes of manic, zestful Nine (before that facade comes crushing down later in the episode) seen especially when he shows Van Statten how to play an alien instrument. I also like the mad man with a box moment below (just before all hell breaks lose):

Soldier: You just stumble in…
Nine: That about sums me up.

Ben: Gratuitous shirtless Doctor scene aside, things start to get interesting when the Doctor is locked into the room with the Dalek. The way Nine says ‘fantastic’ with such anger on his face is a side of the Doctor we haven’t seen before. This is the Doctor fresh from the destruction of the Time War. We get some good history here too, learning the Doctor played a pivotal role in the Time War, bringing about the destruction of both the Daleks and the Time Lords. And as the Dalek points out, the two of them have lot in common, both being the last of their kind.

Maureen: The Doctor’s similarity to a Dalek is a meaty concept to explore; so meaty, it’s been explored not once but three times (Jubilee, Dalek and Into the Dalek).

Nine: I watched it happen. I made it happen.
Dalek: You destroyed us?
Nine: I had no choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
Nine: Dead. They burned with you.
Dalek: We are the same.

Nine: Why don’t you just die?
Dalek: You would make a good Dalek.

These exchanges show us a dangerous Doctor, one unhinged by grief and madness. Without a companion like Rose, he is unstuck, just as amoral and as corrupt as the aliens he battles against.

Ben: You really get an idea of the sheer scope of emotions this Dalek makes the Doctor feel, from sheer terror to blind rage. At the end of the episode we see the Doctor break down. Rose physically blocks his final desperate attempt to destroy the Dalek, and he makes the heartbreaking admission that he has nothing left, other than meting out destruction to his last surviving nemesis. His people all gone, all he has is rage. Enter Rose.

Nine: Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Rose: He’s not the one aiming the gun at me.

Alien of the Week

Maureen: One of the many things I love about this episode is that it shows us all of the reasons why Daleks are scary, evil villains, whilst exploring the concept of a Dalek in a new way, a way that makes us even a little sorry for the one in the episode. The Dalek gains power from Rose and uses it for ill, killing soldiers one by one, including the female soldier who dies bravely trying to protect Adam and Rose. But at the same time, the Dalek is a mirror of The Doctor; the last of his kind, confused and lost, unsure of its purpose.

Dalek: My function is to kill! What am I? What am I?

Nine: They’re all dead.
Dalek: Why do we survive?

Ben: What an introduction to an old favourite! What Van Statten dubs the Metaltron and Adam a Pepperpot ends up being none other than a Dalek! The last Dalek, no less. It’s been through Hell on Earth, and now it’s powerless and alone. It’s first encounter with the Doctor gives us excellent lore and character building. We get the history of the Time War, of the Doctor’s part in ending the War, and a good characterisation of your standard Dalek, obsessed with destroying anything that isn’t Dalek.

Initially, I felt sorry for the Dalek. Not having seen it’s capabilities for destruction, all I’d seen is it being tortured by the Doctor, then comforted by Rose as it accepts it’s approaching death. But then the killing starts, and that’s all thrown out the window. The Dalek brings down the power for a large chunk of America, downloads the entire internet (Inkashlings aside: I thought of the Jen internet episode from IT Crowd at that moment and couldn’t help a small snicker), kills all the men thrown at it, and you think maybe the Doctor was right to try and destroy it while he could. But then, the episode changes direction one more time. The Dalek has been corrupted by Rose, unable to kill. It wonders how the sunlight feels and yearns for freedom, and then opens it’s metal casing to expose the true Dalek inside, because it wanted to feel the sunlight! In the end, being able to feel was too much, and it choose death over the curse of living as a Dalek with emotions.

Dalek: This is not life. This is sickness. I shall not be like you. Order my destruction. Obey. Obey. Obey.

Maureen: And what an unexpected pin-up scene we end the episode on; Rose standing next to The Dalek, not in fear, but in sympathy as it commits suicide.

Final thoughts

Maureen: There’s so much to this episode. We’ve barely talked about Van Statten and his base, and the way the episode shows humanity’s darkest side (torturing aliens to find out about them) in stark juxtaposition to Rose’s actions (there’s a reason for this. Namely, I think this episode is much more interesting when it leaves the bad American accents behind and focuses on the Rose/Doctor/Dalek trio). The opening and ending of the episode felt a lot less interesting than the episode’s heart. I’m giving this 8/10 inky stars, mainly because I’ve listened to Jubilee and think it handled the concept better than Dalek, having more time to explore the human evil element in a more fascinating parallel world. Also, Evelyn Smythe. The Donna Noble of Big Finish. But with more awesome.

Ben: I found this a difficult episode to review, there was a lot of really emotional moments to explore and discuss. Mostly I’m hoping I did it justice. But, I still have to score it. If it weren’t for the terrible Americans, this episode would be a clear 10/10, but as it stands I’m giving it a 9/10.

So, how did this one hold up? I originally rated this one pretty high on a re-watch a few years back on livejournal. Alas, this time round the fart jokes, the fat shaming and the strange character beats were not so appealing for this little birdie. On the plus side, we get introduced to Harriet Jones and the second episode has some interesting and funny moments.

Pre-Title Sequence

Maureen: I liked the opening to Aliens of London. It set the tone (perhaps a little misleadingly) for a fun adventure romp on earth with The Doctor and Rose and continued the theme of The Doctor driving the TARDIS poorly. Suddenly, the series 5 River/Doctor about River driving the TARDIS better is a whole lot funnier… the second episode had little original in its opening to commend itself to me.

Ben: For a two-parter that ended up being inconsistent in quality, we had a hell of an opening in this first episode. After a short recap of Rose, Mickey and Jackie’s adventures so far, we land back on Earth so that Rose can visit her mum. The Doctor assures her that it’s only been 12 hours since she first left with the Doctor, however the Doctor can’t drive the TARDIS and it turns out it has in fact been 12 MONTHS. Whoops. Cue title sequence!

The second episode’s pre-title sequence was mostly a recap, but I did appreciate the smooth transition into the episode proper, literally picking up where they left off last episode with the Doctor and the other alien experts being electrocuted. I guess it is a good thing Rose didn’t get in to the meeting, or she’d be toast. Luckily for the Doctor, Time Lords are made of sturdier stuff, so he’s able to pull off the electrocution lanyard and turn it on to the Slitheen. Aaaand, cue title sequence. It’s nothing special…

The Companion/s

Maureen: Now that we’re back on earth, RTD moves beyond Rose as companion to add in a companion who never was (but could have been) in Harriet Jones, as well as the Mickey and Jackie team (I like to imagine that the whole River/Amy/Rory team was a response to how poorly these two were handled by RTD). There’s a lot of people to juggle when you throw in the alien of the week and The Doctor too, but for the first ten minutes of Aliens of London and most of World War Three, RTD pulls it off.

I’m not sold on the actress playing Jackie Tyler, but I sympathized with her concern for Rose, who on earth has essentially become a missing person case with Mickey, the black boyfriend prime suspect. It’s a shame RTD couldn’t leave this story open-ended a little longer, as it would have been an interesting theme to explore over multiple episodes, but as it is, it feels pretty surface level. I did love Jackie stitching The Doctor with a well-aimed slap and that we saw her trauma and sadness over Rose vanishing with a strange man without warning. In World War Three, she is a vehicle to remind us of the dangers of travelling with The Doctor when she asks him if her daughter will be safe. The Doctor never answers…

Mickey fairs less well in the two-parter, but especially in the first episode. I don’t know that it’s the actor’s fault, but Mickey sounds whiny when he says The Doctor ruined his life (probably because we never see how Mickey’s life has changed sans Doctor in the story). At least Mickey found UNIT (even if they seem a little rusty on dealing with alien invasion despite their numerous cases in classic Who) to gain some agency back and shows presence of mind to run away from The Slitheen when he sees they are outnumbered (sometimes being a coward is useful). In World War Three, I found myself more sympathetic towards Mickey mainly because he does more. Despite Jackie’s year of suspicion toward Mickey, it is he that saves her and promises to protect her no matter what (showing he genuinely cares about more than just Rose as someone to bonk), he gets a picture of The Slitheen that attacked Jackie and sends it to The Doctor for identification and formulation of an actual plan and hacks the Royal Navy to destroy Westminster.

Random aside: Moffat is known for riffing stories, especially previous Who stories, and I noticed the way The Doctor said ‘Mickey the idiot. The world is in your hands. Fire’ is reflected in The Eleventh Hour in the below exchange between Eleven and Jeff:

DOCTOR: Listen to me. In ten minutes, you’re going to be a legend. In ten minutes, everyone on that screen is going to be offering you any job you want. But first, you have to be magnificent. You have to make them trust you and get them working. This is it, Jeff, right here, right now. This is when you fly. Today’s the day you save the world.
JEFF: Why me?
DOCTOR: It’s your bedroom. Now go, go, go.

Nine tears people down because he is all ego and trauma and pain. Eleven builds people up and gives them agency to fly. God, how I wish Eleven had met Mickey.

In the end, Mickey is offered a space in The TARDIS at least, but he turns it down, claiming coward to the end. I’m not sure I bought this. He has shown himself to be no coward, but maybe he feels responsibility to earth and protecting it from the aliens he knows are now out there (whether through UNIT or someone else) or maybe he knows he needs to let Rose go.

And what of Rose? She doesn’t do much this two-parter, with Harriet Jones getting the best ‘aha’ moments. Still, Rose is the one who figures out how The Doctor, Harriet and her can survive Mickey’s bomb blast. I wasn’t a fan of her violent responses to the alien invasion or flippant weight loss joke (and nor was Harriet) and I hated her false statements to Mickey about missing him and caring for him (come on, Rose. You clearly don’t.)

And at last I get to Harriet Jones. God, how I loved her. I truly felt like she was so fully realised she could have been a companion. I love that she’s a small town MP with brains and heart and the persistence of an old school investigative journalist. I love that she tells Rose where to get off. I love that The Doctor passes his alcohol vial to her before Rose. I love that somehow she finishes the story as PM.

Ben: Okay, there’s a lot to cover here with companions. First Rose, then Mickey, then Jackie, then Harriet Jones. But really, Mickey got all the good bits in these episodes.

Rose is something of an observer for most of these episodes, with everything happening around her. Mostly it’s her mum having a very understandable reaction to her only daughter vanishing for a year and then not telling her where she’s been. She really is caught between a rock and a hard place there, I’m not sure what I would say in her situation at all. But once the alien spaceship crash lands in London she doesn’t really do much other than argue with Jackie and Mickey. World War Three opens with her and Harriet being chased by a Slitheen, only to be quickly reunited with the Doctor. From then on, all she does is emote and react to the events occurring around her.

I was surprised to find myself liking Mickey in these episodes! It’s clear he’s had a rough year, Jackie accusing him of Rose’s disappearance is no easy thing to shake off. Yes he was a bit of a dick to everyone in the first episode, but I think that’s a fair reaction all things considered. Plus the Doctor is still being a dick to him for no good reason. He really comes into things during World War Three, first trying to protect Jackie, and then being the Doctor’s man on the computer. He gets a bad case of the technobabble, but what’s a Doctor Who episode without some nonsense scifi talk. Mass murder aside, he’s become a much better character by the end of the episode, you can see more of the Mickey that joins Unit and less of the whiney boy. Plus, coming to an understanding with the Doctor means hopefully they can move on from the ridiculous name calling.

Similarly, Jackie didn’t do much after the first 15 minutes of Aliens of London. She got to ask some very pointed questions about where Rose has been for the last year, and who in the fresh hell this Doctor is. (YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE, JUST GO BACK 12 MONTHS AND SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE) Then in World War Three after being saved from a Slitheen in a bit of an odd scene involving pickled foodstuffs, her primary role is to worry about Rose, whether she is safe and whether the Doctor can keep her safe. Which, as Rose’s mum, are very reasonable questions to ask. What is very ominous and foreboding is the Silence (heh) the Doctor responds with. We also get to see how fiercely protective she is of her only daughter when she threatens to stop Mickey launching the missile because there’s the risk Rose will get hurt. By the end of the episode she’s begging her daughter to stay, promising to go back to school and get a job in the hopes of keeping Rose on Earth. Not to be down on Jackie, but I think I’d choose travelling space over every day life on Earth too.

Finally, Harriet Jones. She really was my favourite thing to come from these episodes. She didn’t do a great deal besides observe proceedings along with Rose, but her no-nonsense attitude, intelligence and charisma were great on screen. Also of note, Harriet had one of my favourite lines of the episode in “you pass to the left first” when the Doctor goes to pass her a decanter of alcohol so she could have her last drink. I look forward to seeing more of her in episodes to come! She truly was the sanest companion of the lot!

The Doctor

Maureen: Aside from the first ten minutes of Aliens of London where The Doctor was funny and adventure-filled (shown in the ‘did you know this was gonna happen? Nope’ exchange, the joy on The Doctor’s face as he steered alone in the TARDIS and the ‘never put a man in front of a lift’ quote), I spent a lot of time disliking him. He emotionally blackmailed Rose constantly to continue journeying with him, insisted on calling Mickey Ricky for no good reason, continued to call Mickey an idiot and demean him in front of others, especially Rose, and generally was a bit of a dick.

Another Moffat riff I noticed comes from this episode. In the Series 10 finale, Twelve makes this speech to The Master:

Twelve: I’m not trying to win. I’m not doing this because I want to beat someone, because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It’s not because it’s fun. God knows it’s not because it’s easy. It’s not even because it works because it hardly ever does. I do what I do because it’s right! Because it’s decent! And above all, it’s kind!

Compare to Nine speaking to Rose and Harriet as a dreadful decision must be made…

Nine: It’s not fun. It’s not smart. It’s just standing up and making a decision.

Final note on The Doctor: Thank God he finally lays off mocking Mickey by two-parter’s end! I get the sense he has learnt to respect Mickey, even if he’ll never like him.

Ben: I oscillated a lot between like and dislike over these episodes when it came to the Doctor. For starters, he constantly treats Mickey with disdain until he has a use for him. I’m not sure if it’s because of Rose related jealousy, but this behaviour just isn’t cute. At least by the end of the episode they reach something of an understanding, but that involved turning Mickey into a mass murderer by having him launch a missile into 10 Downing Street.

We get a lot of scenes of the Doctor investigating and problem solving and just generally being the Doctor, which were fine, but not particularly inspiring. The investigating the alien body which turns out to be a transformed pig only seems to happen as an excuse to get The Doctor to leave without Rose, furthering the conflict between Rose, Mickey, and Jackie. Things pick up in the second episode when he locks himself, Rose, and Harriet in the Cabinet Room, and we get some good banter, great emotional moments, and some excellent Doctoring moments. The part where he admits he can’t keep Rose safe was a really But do the good Doctor moments of World War Three balance out the mostly bad Doctor moments from Aliens in London? What really sealed it as a no from me is when, right at the end of the episode when Jackie is begging Rose to stay, he pulls some cheap emotional manipulation to make sure she comes along with him.

Alien of the Week

Maureen: I noticed a couple of things about the aliens of the week to comment on. The less said about the fat shaming and the fart jokes the better…

1. Their ultimate plan is quite similar to Cassandra, also a villain from an RTD penned episode. The Slitheen want to destroy earth to sell it for fuel. Ingenious. What this says about RTD’s neuroses I’m not sure.
2. It’s interesting that The Slitheen take over key positions in UK society (PM, head of MI6, head of the military etc.) The PM, especially, is flippant and into bodily fluids and earthy feelings. He says he had a wife, a mistress and a farmer and that he wants to escape his body and get naked. Again, not sure what RTD was saying about politics or about sexuality here.
3. The Slitheen were much scarier in the second episode, as they stalked Rose and Harriet especially. The pig/human hybrid alien was just weird in episode one and I wasn’t keen on the electrocution scene.

Ben: The Slitheen really were a mixed bag, there’s not much else to say. They had a pretty good plan overall, turning the Earth into a nuclear slag to sell off as fuel. I feel like as an advanced alien species there would have been much easier ways to go about it though. If Mickey can hack into and launch a nuke (buffalo as a password, really?), I feel like the Slitheen could probably manage that too. What really weighed down the performances were the bad fart jokes, and over use of special effects. Less is more, BBC! They did have some moments of being truly intimidating, such as when one of them was hunting Rose and Harriet Jones in World War Three. But overall, they ended up being a bit more silly than scary. They had all this amazing technology, and the first part of Aliens of London really set them up well as being a real threat, this was an enemy who was able to set up significant diversions. But when it came to actually meeting the Slitheen… the follow through was disappointing. And in the end, no one actually checked to see if there were any Slitheen survivors before declaring the missile strike a success? Who knows, maybe they’ll make a return later on…

Final Thoughts

Maureen: I thought this was a kitchen sink mess for the most part, with many series regulars doing unlikable things and displaying unlikable attitudes, especially in Aliens of London which got a measly 2 stars from me. The second episode lifted its game, but not enough to salvage the truly awful first act with a solid 7/10 stars. Aliens of London/World War Three: 5/10 inky stars.

Ben: Look, it wasn’t a great two-parter, I really think they could have done better with the idea. I’m imagining a spy thriller of some form where they go back 12 months to correct the Doctor’s driving mistake and come across the Slitheen when they’ve just landed on Earth and are scoping it out/in the initial planning stages. Something more Animorphs-esque, perhaps. Anyways, I should quit before I write that whole thing out. At least we got another Bad Wolf reference? I give Aliens of London a 4/10, and World War Three a 7/10. Overall, 6/10 inky stars.

So what happens? Rose and The Doctor go back in time to 1869 and find all is not well in Cardiff where Dickens is performing A Christmas Carol. The dead are walking. A mysterious alien race is unleashed through a rift gate. Why have they been stranded and why do they need bodies? Watch the episode or read below to find out.

Pre-Title Sequence

Maureen: Though the opening titles weren’t quite as strong as last week’s, they were still pretty good. The period piece, walking dead ghost story opening is creepy, even given the old fashioned SFX and as Ben points out, the screeching sound is used to spine tingling effect.

Ben: This was another banger of a pre-title sequence, I mean, any scene that ends with a possessed body running screaming into the night gets a thumbs up from me. Upon rewatching (I’ve found watching the episode again whilst writing my review rather helpful) I noticed how prominent they made the gas a character; Sneed opens the episode lighting a gas lamp, and throughout the scene you can hear the hiss of the gas below conversation. And then you see the gas possess grandmama, kill her grandson and make off into the night! Along with the exasperated “oh no, not again” from Mr Sneed, they really give you all the threads of the story right away. Also of note – this is the first episode written by Mark Gatiss!

The Companion

Maureen: I’m loving the Rose/Doctor chemistry in this episode, and the absence of Mickey is bliss. Billie Piper and Christopher Eccleston have great chemistry, evident right away when they spar back and forth about where the TARDIS toilet is and that Rose looks ‘blimey… beautiful… considering’ she’s human. I am a bit partial myself to good old Billie Piper in 19th century attire, even if the Rose is nineteen reveal makes the Doctor/Rose relationship a little icky for me. Doesn’t stop the quote below being lovely:

Rose Tyler: Think about it, though. Christmas 1860. It happened once. Just once, and it’s… gone, it’s finished. It’ll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone, a hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still.

The Doctor: Not a bad life.

Rose Tyler: Better with two.

There’s also a lovely parallel going on this episode between The Doctor/Dickens and Gwen (the servant girl with the sight)/Rose as companions. I love that in this episode, just like the prior one, Rose finds the downtrodden and listens to them actively in a way Nine never would. She talks to Gwen about her pay, about her schooling and about love in a lovely scene.

We also see a deepening contrast between Rose and The Doctor. Rose thinks about the human cost to The Doctor’s plan and advocates on behalf of having a heart. Nine is still damaged from The Time War, angry and bitter. But Rose is also a thoroughly modern companion, young and naive, and Gatiss isn’t afraid to remind us of that. Gwen calls Rose out, telling her she knows Rose thinks she’s superior, and that Gwen herself, has the right to a voice to choose.

Ben: Right off the bat, Rose is getting her flirt on with The Doctor! They really are laying the attraction on thick, although it could just be that the two of them have excellent chemistry compared to Rose and the wet rag that is Mickey.

In stark contrast to last week’s episode, you can tell Rose is truly enjoying experiencing an 1800’s Christmas. Well, she is for the five minutes before the screams start. What I’m starting to get annoyed by is this is now the third week where she becomes a damsel in distress; in this case being knocked unconscious by Sneed, kidnapped, and left in a room with two zombies to die only to be rescued by the Doctor.

She gets some great moments in the rest of the episode though, telling off Sneed and the sweet then creepy scene with Gwyneth in the pantry in particular. Also of note is the way she stood up to the Doctor when it came to Gwyneth, contrasting how Rose sees her as a (dumb) person who shouldn’t be getting into any alien business, and the Doctor sees her as something of a tool. A means to an end. Final point to mention – the scene when Rose realises her own mortality was excellent. It doesn’t matter they’re on Earth before she’s born, of course she can still die. This is real.

Secondary Companions of the Week

Maureen: I loved, loved, loved the actress playing Gwen and the brilliant mind reading speech she gave to Rose; both chilling and beautiful.

Gwyneth: And you’ve come such a long way.

Rose Tyler: What makes you thinks so?

Gwyneth: You’re from London. I’ve seen London in drawings, but never like that. All those people rushing about, half naked. For shame. And the noise, and the metal boxes racing past. And the birds in the sky… No, they’re metal as well. Metal birds with people in them. People are flying. And you, you’ve flown so far, further than anyone! The things you’ve seen. The darkness… The Big Bad Wolf.

Gwen is the second example (after Jabe) of a companion who never was, and like Jabe, she is a highly likable character.

Ben: As shown at the start of the episode, poor Mr Sneed and Gwyneth are very much in over their heads, but they’re trying their best to keep the living dead down. Luckily for them, Gwyneth has something of A Gift and is able to locate their stiff, but not before she’s made rather a commotion. The scene of her and Rose bonding in the pantry is pure magic, with the easy banter giving away to unease when you realise Gwyneth is actively reading Rose’s mind (giving us the second Bad Wolf reference of the season that I’ve noticed). She then proceeds to gives us the second-best séance scene in a tv show behind the séance in Penny Dreadful. Iconic stuff.

One of my main criticisms of this episode is how they never really explain how these powers came to be – how did she grow up on top of the rift if the rift is in the basement of a haunted house she only recently started working at? Why do the Gelth need to use a human as a gate? On top of that, how did she manage to close the gate, sacrificing herself and saving the day, if she’d already been dead for five minutes like the Doctor said? It’s all a bit too ill-defined for me. All in all, though, Gwyneth was a great character who added a lot to the episode.

And finally, poor Charles Dickens. At the start of the episode he is in something of a funk, blathering on about family and just being a general Debbie Downer. Getting interrupted by a blue screaming woman and accompanying ghost in the middle of his performance didn’t provide any relief, for reasons unknown to me. He does lighten up somewhat in accompanying The Doctor in his chase to recover Rose, but only because of some serious fangirling by The Doctor. The whole scene is rather silly, really.

He doesn’t do much for the rest of the episode except to move from dismissing it all as fakery to having the horrifying epiphany that there is much in existence beyond his understanding. He does provide some crucial assistance at the end of the episode though, realising they can use the gas to draw the Gelth out from their possessed bodies. When we say goodbye to Mr Dickens he’s back in good spirits. Having gone through the 5 stages of grief, he has come to accept the new world, and is excited to explore these new ideas in his books.

Maureen: Ben covered a lot of ground, so I don’t have much to add, other than it’s interesting to note that Dickens is the first time New Who does the whole ‘go back in time to meet famous person’ trope. I think Vincent and The Doctor is a stronger episode, but perhaps some of its inspiration comes from this earlier episode. Dickens is inspired to change the ending to The Mystery of Edwin Drood, but he dies a week later, as The Doctor calmly tells Rose. In Vincent, there are no more artworks because he commits suicide. The parallels are interesting.

The Doctor

Ben: My first observation is that The Doctor really is terrible at driving the TARDIS, and also interior planning. Why exactly does one have to go through a maze to get to the wardrobe?? And then we get The Doctor laying on some of his classic backhanded flirting, “You look beautiful, considering”. Smooth, Doctor. Real smooth. Then comes the second confirmation that The Doctor is a terrible driver: Not only is this not London(it’s Cardiff – a location which will show up repeatedly in the future), it’s not even 1860 (it’s 1869)!

When the screaming starts he’s moderately useless, getting distracted by Charles Dickens and the gas and letting Rose get chloroformed, but luckily, he arrives back at the funeral home just in time to save Rose and start figuring out what these gas beings want. I wasn’t a huge fan of how blindly and willingly the Doctor went along with the Gelth’s plan, but considering they straight up call him The Doctor, I suspect the reference to them being victims of the Time War was a deliberate act to get the guilt flowing.

Maureen: Unlike Ben, I quite liked the characterization of The Doctor in relation to The Gelth. This Doctor is seriously damaged, his whole race is dead and he firmly believed he played a part in his and other species destruction. He feels he must atone for his past transgressions, and here, right before him, are The Gelth ready to feed his ego and make him feel good about himself. When Nine says, ‘I trusted you. I pitied you,’ he sounds incredulous, unable to believe another species could manipulate him so coldly. It’s a near perfect character moment for me.

The Gelth, Gwyneth: We are so very few. The last of our kind. We face extinction.

The Doctor: Why? What happened?

The Gelth, Gwyneth: Once we had a physical form like you. But then the War came.

Charles Dickens: War? What war?

The Gelth, Gwyneth: The Time War. The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged, invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away. We’re trapped in this gaseous state.

I am loving the drip feeding of Time War information we get every week!

I continue to enjoy Nine’s sense of humour too. I laughed out loud when he said of the morgue, ‘this is Bleak House,’ again in his conversation about being Dickens number one fan, and when he blythly said of Gwen that he ‘loved a happy medium.’

Aliens of the Week

Ben: We get a good few twists this week with the aliens – first off, they’ve possessed bodies of the dead, and are killing willy-nilly; then we find out they’re actually the Gelth, alien refugees who lost their physical forms as a result of the Time War and, trapped in a gaseous state, want to inhabit human corpses in order to survive.

I was a bit suspicious from the séance scene onwards, because of how thick their spokesperson laid on the “Pity the Gelth!” line. Unfortunately, Gwyneth has started calling them her angels at this point, so of course they’re getting rescued. You can’t get between a Godly woman and her angels. The final twist comes after Gwyneth opens the gate and we find out the Gelth are in fact a hostile species looking to conquer the Earth. It’s fitting then, that Gwyneth is the one that foils their plan in the end, but not before poor Mr Sneed dies and we get an excellent moment of the Doctor and Rose coming to terms with their mortality.

Maureen: The Gelth are probably the most morally ambiguous aliens New Who has explored thus far. Yes, they want to take over earth, but they have legitimate reasons to do so. They have lost their entire world after all! The final twist of how The Doctor and Rose resolve the ‘invasion’ felt a little too get out of jail free card for me, but I enjoyed the twists up until that moment, and the link between Gwen and The Gelth leading to her Sight made for some great spooky scenes.

So how did we rank this episode overall?

Maureen: I quite enjoyed this. I thought the ending was a bit silly, but otherwise a strong episode. 7/10 inky stars.

Ben: Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the first period drama episode of New Who, I’m giving it an 8/10.

Pre-Title Sequence

Maureen: I really loved the opening sequence to this episode. We learn just enough about how The Doctor rolls (manically and with little care to his companions possible reactions, thoughts or feelings about what they are about to see) to get an idea of where the season is headed. You can really tell the show was written by fans for fans, with the mention of the New Roman Empire instantly making me want to run off and check for the fan fic of that particular adventure. I also noticed Murray Gold’s brilliant soundtrack with a vengeance in this opening. ‘Welcome to the end of the world,’ may be one of the best Who hooks ever to an episode.

Ben: Ahh… these ye olde special effects really take me back to watching Doctor Who back in high school… Anyways, this pre-title sequence sequence had some real snap crackle and pop to it, with Rose and the Doctor flirting up a storm! The Doctor was talking a big game about how far forward in time the TARDIS had travelled and Rose was acting suitably impressed, it was all very high school. But more importantly, their chemistry is excellent, especially in comparison to the chemistry between Rose and Mickey. Which brings us to The Doctor having the excellent idea to bring Rose to the literal death of the Earth! Great second date material there, Doctor.

The Companion

Maureen: I liked Rose a lot more this episode (probably because she was sans Mickey). The banter between her and The Doctor felt more natural and their chemistry is strong. I love how out of place and confused Rose feels when The Doctor tells her she’s surrounded by different species of aliens because it felt realistic.

Rose: The aliens are just… so alien.
The Doctor: Good thing I didn’t take you to the deep South.

For the first time, the romance angle is overt. We see it in the exchange between Jabe and The Doctor about Rose’s function/relationship to The Doctor (Wife? Partner? Concubine? Prostitute?), The Doctor calling Rose his plus one and Rose telling The Doctor to go pollinate with Jabe and that she wanted him home by midnight.

I loved how Rose acted around the blue mechanic. She is interested and compassionate in what was a lovely little scene. I was less of a fan of how Rose interacted with Cassandra. She was fairly harsh in her assessment of Cassandra as ‘a bitchy trampoline… just lipstick and skin.’ To be fair, she is overwhelmed and confused by her surroundings so some frustration and snappiness is to be expected. She also didn’t do much other than be a damsel in distress while The Doctor and poor Jabe solved the mystery of the episode, but hey, it’s early days for Rose yet.

Ben: Poor Rose understandably had a bit of a tough time this episode. Being brought 5 billion years into the future to witness the destruction of the Earth is something of a mood killer. And then to be introduced to the ever so naughty Cassandra, who claims to be the last pure human whilst having had every last bit of humanity surgically removed? It’s enough to put even the happiest person in a mood, and from early on she clearly feels very awkward and out of place.

It is a bit disappointing how she gets sidelined for most of this episode, though. She has some good moments being snarky at Cassandra and Jabe, and the touching moment when the Doctor does some technobabble to her phone, enabling her to call home and talk to her mum. But mostly she’s either having a crisis of identity and freaking out that she’s travelling space and time with an alien she knows basically nothing about. Which, as I’ve said already, is pretty understandable considering the circumstances.

The Doctor

Maureen: This episode developed Nine nicely, letting us know he is broken and damaged and very, very angry. This Doctor is brutal, unafraid of punishing people and aliens when they seriously mess up. He also is filled with unbearable guilt; about the universe, about his people and about Jabe too.

Jabe: Stop wasting time… Time Lord.

I still remember how thrilling that line sounded as a teen!

‘Everything has an end and everything dies,’ Nine says to Rose, trying to justify why he let Cassandra die, but you know he’s talking about brave Jabe too.

We also hear the first about the dreaded last of the Time Lords trope, but it’s fresh at this early point and I loved Eccleston’s delivery.

The Doctor: My planet’s gone. It’s dead. It burned like the earth. It’s just rock and dust… there was a war and we lost… I’m the last of the Time Lords.

Ben: The Doctor had some pretty great moments this week: the introduction of the ever so useful psychic paper, “I gift you air from my lungs”, and letting Cassandra dry out and subsequently die a fairly horrific death at the end of the episode. Before that though, we have The Doctor being prickly and mysterious and refusing to answer Rose’s questions, and then doing the same with Jabe and her questions before caving and telling both of them the truth. It’s an important step, and while we don’t get the specifics, it’s still enough to explain some of why the Doctor is how he is.

The scenes he had with Jabe were all so good, as well. I know all the Doctor’s are serial flirts, but Eccleston can really put it on when he wants to. It’s that kind of charisma and connection that inspires his companions to do amazing things, such as Jabe sacrificing her life to save the station. And as a grand crescendo we had him walk between two blades of a fan set to maximum! It was a bit dumb, and you never really see Time Lords having that kind of ability again, but it sure looked cool.

The Alien of the Week

Maureen: Cassandra was a great villain; a capitalist nightmare highlighting everything wrong with our modern world, a world where we value objects and things over people. Cassandra is cruel and callous and vapid and I love that she calls a duke box an iPod and Tainted Love and Toxic classic earth songs.

The Face of Boe turns up for the first time, as do a number of other alien species. The blue people were nicely humanized and Jabe was a beautifully realized character. I would have dug her as a companion!

Cassandra’s little metal spider aliens reminded me of Michael Crichton’s Prey and were genuinely frightening. I can’t say that of every Who alien!

Ben: Boy did they pull out all the stops with the aliens this episode! The world building is simply phenomenal, with a veritable smorgasbord of aliens in attendance. We get some soon to be familiar faces, such as the Face of Boe, and the mysterious Adherents of the Repeated Meme (I hope it’s a dog-related meme). The one critique I have of this episode is, surely these advanced alien civilisations would have figured out a way to make sun shields a bit less fallible. But as far as complaints go, that’s pretty minor. The little robot baddies were animated surprisingly well, all things considered! And the twist with them actually being controlled by Cassandra was a really great moment.

Our verdict?

Maureen: I’ve always loved this episode. Partly it’s nostalgia, but I just think it’s a strong episode in general; there’s a great central mystery, interesting world-building and aliens, moments of tragedy alongside humour and a deepening of The Doctor’s backstory and the mysterious Time War. It’s early in the peace, but I’m giving this one 10/10.

Ben: This episode was just peak Who, it’s sci-fi perfection, and we had the first Bad Wolf reference I’ve spotted so far! As much as I’m hesitant to give an episode 10/10 because there’s always the chance there will be a better episode, I really can’t justify a score other than 10/10. Onwards and upwards!

Next week, one of the few Gatiss penned Who episodes Inkashlings actually likes…